Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The photo captures the adventure of a man with his dog.  The man is sitting in the boat with a hat on, and the lack of light makes it hard to depict any color or age of the man.  His dog is standing at the front of the boat, watching the direction of travel.  There is fog rolling across the still water flowing into the air. The sun is barely peaking out giving a  back light to this photo.  The only sound came from the water rushing past the canoe.  There was a faint scent of fall settling across the waters as the world is beginning to come to life with the arrival of sunlight.  The man is paddling the hand made canoe slowly, as if he was preparing for a long journey.  In the center of the boat there are enough provisions for his adventure.  The canoe is balanced out by the dog watching guard in the front of the boat, and the man propels the craft forward from the rear of the canoe.  The environment was still the air was heavy, and the only life that can be seen or heard is the man paddling his way down the water.

Photo Narrative 
He had been living among the local native group for nearly a month.  His objective was to lean the ways of the tribal rituals and language of the people in the jungles of Africa.  All he had taken was a few notes, emergency supplies, and his life long friend, his dog.  It started out as a normal day, the language was coming easier and easier every day, and today was the day that he would be going fishing for the great ritual river shark.  This was the custom for all men to be accepted into the tribal council. As he was paddling out to the river to snare a shark, a heavy fog began to roll in.  His dog began to growl and the fur was standing up on his back indicating the eerie feeling that began to flow across the water.  The mood soon changed, it was no longer a hunt, but rather a need for survival.  All of his previous training had prepared him for this moment. The water rushed by and the canoe began to sway back and forth.  He new he did not have long before the shark would attack.  He frantically reached for the spear, but he was too late.  The giant shark leaped out of the water and latched onto his leg.  The man had never felt such excruciating pain, but there was no one to hear him scream.  As he began to struggle the shark's grip began to get tighter.  With one last thrash back and forth the shark drug the man down to the depths of the river.  The man's possessions were found a week later at the bottom of the river, and his study of the aboriginal people was never finished.

4 comments:

  1. Great word choices and details on what is happening in the story.
    In the sentence "His dog began to growl and the fur was standing up on his back indicating the eerie felling" I think you meant to say feeling.
    Overall you did a wonderful job.

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  2. I like the way that you introduced his dog, "All he had taken was a few notes, emergency supplies, and his life long friend, his dog.", however I do not know what you mean by "a few notes." The way that you describe how the dog reacted to the fog. The fight between the man and the shark is very descriptive. However I think you should conclude the story better. It ends too suddden.

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  3. Great set up for your story, it is very interesting and is something you can expand upon. Also great description and the end is exciting.
    I am wondering if you could explain the shark in a little more detail.
    Maybe add on more detail to how torn up he had become from spending time with the native tribes.

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  4. Brutal.
    The description captures most elements, but I would have liked to hear about the mist, and how it felt, the temp, the feel on the skin particularly would've been a good addition.
    The story is done well and flows from the description, although it might've been nice to extend the period of the attack so that it would take center stage and be really the focal point.
    35/40

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